My Solitary Life, or, Anne Morrow Lindbergh got it right

We had a dance party for the girls yesterday with about 8 other neighborhood friends. (see 9.39 for photos). It was great getting ready, although I did fall into "hurry up hurry up" mode, which Bill really dislikes. After the commotion of working the room, and visiting with friends, it was nice to have the house quiet. This morning Bill took the girls to the zoo and I am just trying to wrap up my perpetual loose ends. I have always had a big interior life...I think I am essentially an introvert in that way, because big parties and going out isn't my idea of a lot of fun. There are days, like today, when my brain is telling me that I need solitude. I really believe, as AML did, that women can't manage everything they have to manage if they can't manage their own internal space. The struggle between constantly being on call and wanting silence creates a sad inertia, especially this time of year, when warm fresh air is infrequent and the house walls are giggling with dust, cracks, torn wallpaper and dull decor. I have read the new IKEA catalog about 20 times, imagining what I could do IF....and that can get depressing real quick. Having 120 precious minutes to myself, even without coffee to accompany me, can be just the thing the therapist ordered.